Home > Scripts > POLARIZED by Sam Ruano, with notes!

POLARIZED by Sam Ruano, with notes!

Holmes Inc.

“Polarized”
Story synopsis by Sam Ruano

Holmes Inc has been called down to the South Pole to investigate a strange disappearance of a group of scientists at a mining facility deep within the trans-Antarctic mountain range. Elizabeth takes issue with being called in to help a private corporation after learning that Holmes inc. is a principal shareholder. Number two argues the potential benefits for mankind. Elizabeth accuses him of hiding behind progress to make profit. Edgar only agreed to tag along because it allows him to try out Artie’s new exo-suit.

When they arrive they are greeted by the frozen remains of one of a scientist who Elizabeth determines has died of dehydration. There’s no sign of the crew. The elevators and main communication station has been disabled.

Number two stays back to get comms back online with Artie’s remote help while Elizabeth and Edgar rappel down the central shaft to access the central core.

Upon arriving they find the entrance to the mine has been barricaded from the outside. Elizabeth, still reeling over her argument with number two, accuses Edgar of taking sides. Edgar is too preoccupied clearing debris with the exo-suit to listen.
Edgar accidentally over powers the suit causing a collapse that sends Elizabeth sliding down a crevasse into chamber on the other side. She’s alright and tells to Edgar to stay put while she goes to look for the missing science team.

As Elizabeth goes exploring she encounters the scientists bodies. As she approaches a body she realizes it has been hideously mutated into some kind of creature capable of dislocating his jaw wide enough to lash out at her with an oral appendage. Elizabeth tries to fight it off but is quickly over powered and dragged off.

Edgar has lost her signal and works furiously to clear the debris. When he gets on the other side. He follows the path and finds Elizabeth suspended in a giant Hydra like organism. Edgar engages the creature. They fight. Edgar shines exo-suits infra red light on the creature and manages to burn it long enough to release Elizabeth. Edgar carries Elizabeth to safety sealing the mine  entrance with an avalanche.

At the surface, Elizabeth comes to after being re-hydrated. Edgar deduces that this was a prehistoric parasite that fed off of moisture. Number two orders them to blast seal the mine and decides that mankind is not ready for this much progress.

Act one
Holmes is sent in to rescue trapped miners

Act two
Elevators have been disabled.

ACT Three
Miners have become paranoid and have barricaded themselves in the mine.

Act Four
Miners have been infected by a biological virus that’s been trapped in the ice for millions of years.

Act Five
Surviving Miners are saved when they are exposed to UV light.

—I had a few concerns myself that perhaps you could help me with.

One- I’m worried that the story may be too different than my original pitch which more closely resembled “The Thing”.
two- I need to find ways to implement more Holmesian deduction somewhere. (When finding the first victim and perhaps when defeating the ‘monster”

Also- since there are a lot of exo-suits and monsters stories already i was wondering if I should change anything.

NOTES:

Well, here’s my first reaction.  The new script is missing my two favorite things from the original script.  Literally my two favorite things.

1)  I loved the idea of someone they described as dying “…from rage”.  That’s a great opening beat.
2)  The moment where Elizabeth suddenly, ravenously attacks Edgar with kisses, while under the influence of the parasite.

Your concerns about not wanting to replicate things in the other stories is unwarranted.  The mind-control elements in both Artificial Intelligence and Mind Spiders isn’t a similar enough beat to worry me.  I liked your original story so much better with those two moments listed above, and it feels a little pedestrian without them.  Please put ’em back, I implore you.

Let the readers worry about the recurring themes in the whole issue, you worry about making your story excellent.  And you know, I considered the Mind-Control, and emotional elements of your original story when I created the running order and without those beats in the script, I might have to shuffle the story to another spot.  (It required holding the story back towards the back of the issue, to strongly establish Elizabeth in earlier stories so that her behavior in both your and Aaron’s stories would be more shocking…).

Ty the Guy

Advertisements
Categories: Scripts
  1. No comments yet.
  1. No trackbacks yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: