Home > Scripts > TREY & THE ARGENTINE -Outline by Darius Fox, with notes!

TREY & THE ARGENTINE -Outline by Darius Fox, with notes!

Darius reworked his outline to Ty’s notes and this is the new, improved version!

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Trey and the Argentine

Revised Outline

Opens with TREY and a mysterious man engaged in the Tango, RYAN is recording everything states that he doesn’t trust the guy when Trey is spun toward him. Trey dismisses Ryan’s concerns saying that he’s just jealous.

Trey talks to the man while their tangoing and reveals TOMAS is a self-made millionaire from trading in rare objects. While Trey and Tomas are engaged in their tango enjoying themselves, Ryan decides to investigate Tomas’s mansion on his own and runs a foul of the security guards and gets captured.

After the tango Trey and Tomas cool of on the balcony and after some time has passed Trey wonders where Ryan has gone off too. Tomas coolly replies that he has him hostage and if she wants him back she’s going to have to help a thief he’s hired steal a rare book from the national library. Trey says she’ll go along with it until she figures out a way to rescue Ryan and bring Tomas to justice.

Trey is taken to the national library Tomas’s men where she meets the THIEF. Trey is going to have to break in with the Thief  (who is silent throughout) and help him commit the perfect crime by preventing him from leaving any clues that she or Holmes Inc would be capable detecting.

Trey and the Thief break into the library and Trey prevents him from making three mistakes that Elizabeth, Edgar, and Artie would detect respectively. They steal the book but Trey is going to hold on to it until Ryan is safe.

Trey and the thief meet Tomas’s men on (significant location TBD) and are about to perform an exchange but Ryan is shown to be resourceful by disabling his restraints and getting out of danger. Trey then proceeds to fight the Thief and notices something about his fighting style. She asks Ryan for the footage from the dance earlier and she determines that the Thief is Tomas.

As Trey and Ryan close in, the Thief blindsides Trey and finally speaks stating that they will meet again then  gives her the slip. The last scene is Trey and Ryan at the mansion as the police confiscate a secret cache of stolen objects hidden near the area where Ryan was snooping earlier. Ryan apologizes for getting captured but Trey says that it was her fault for pushing his buttons.

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Yes!  Yes!  That’s what I’m talking about.  I hope you’re comfortable with this plot now… it’s much stronger from my point of view, as the focus is much more on our characters.  I know the stuff with the Phoenix organization was grabbing your imagination, and you should hold onto it for somewhere in the future, but it was getting in the way of the story about our heroes, rather than aiding it along.

Now we’ve got the mystery, the intrigue, the action and adventure rolling along at a nice pace.  I’m even good with the thief giving her the slip.  You could even hint she let him go, a bit. (which might have been something I thought I heard you suggest at first).

You’ve got a couple of quick beats to work out where the deductions feature in, and our wonderful final location, but the pacing and story beats are so much stronger now, I’m tickled pink.

Speaking of Pinc…any thoughts Rob?

Ty the Guy

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Wow!  What a terrific rewrite! Ty’s right, this is focused and fast paced (and way more likely to fit into 7 pages!). The motivations are solid and consistent and it all dovetails nicely with a lot of physicality.  Niiiice work.
There’s room for the deduction on the run. Just be careful not to dwell on it for too long. You want to play fair but keep it moving.

Rob (also known as Pinc)

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