Home > Art, Thumbnails > Mind Spiders Layouts – With Notes!

Mind Spiders Layouts – With Notes!

Hey All,

More Mind Spider madness for ya. Here are Dawnsen’s second round of thumbnails and the discussion around them.

Here are my layouts, I made some changes that were suggested from Wednesday and I also added some possible word balloon positions.

I have a few things I want to mention about it:

page 1 panels 2 and 3 – on panel 2 edgar is on the right and Trey is on  the left, but then I turn the camera and their positions are flipped. is this bad? what do you think?

on page 3 panel 3 –  I think having trey off panel would add more impact, we can have it so that she is in the act of revieling it on panel 2 and we can see the gross out reaction on panel 4.

I made a lot of changes to page 5, I think it reads a lot better now. *panel 5 should be flipped, Edgar pushed Trey right.

Page 6 panel 1 – you suggested that Trey should be in the foreground and edgar and Queenie in BG. I’m not sure how to show Trey’s reaction and Edgar and the Queen’s action at the same time. Do you think it’ll still work with just a close up of Trey’s face?

Thats about it. Oh, one more thing. What is Edgar wearing? I thought we we’re just going with the turnaround on the site. did you want him in something new?

Cheers, Dawnson.

Before we get into the back and forth. Feast your eyes on the art!

Ty weighed in first.

My thoughts are fairly simple.  All the layout fixes are just what the editor ordered. YES!  The pages and figures breathe a lot more now, and it’s all very, very readable.

My one note will be to watch out for awkward posing on the figures in action…the Trey figure in the big panel on page two is klunky, a bit.  Watch for counter-position with the hips and shoulders, and a good strong gestural thrust that doesn’t turn corners or square off. – Ty the Guy

Since Ty and I have been encouraging collaboration took off my Assistant Editor hat and donned my Writer’s Cap to offer my thoughts.

Hi Dawnsen. Finally had a moment to peek at your revised layouts.  Amazing stuff!  I can really it coming to life as you problem solve! (You know, all of Ty’s suggestiosn for people this time around make me want to rewrite my first issue story!!)

This reply is totally from Rob the writer, not the assistant editor. Ty is the final arbitor on editorial comments. As a writer, I can share my thoughts of storytelling but the final choices/decisions are all yours.

You are really thinking through this well and any point I bring is only food for that thought process. You gotta do what you think it is right for this.

Re.  1 panels 2 and 3 – Flipping Trey and Edgar

For myself I try to avoid flipping the angle. I’m always worried it will screw with the reader’s perceptions of where he characters are in space.  For example, Edgar doesn’t speak in panel 2 so he could easily remain at the left. Also, Edgar switches sides again in panel 3.

That said, as long as there are consistent things about the environment from panel to panel for the reader to latch onto, it can work so I leave it up to you.

Re. page 3 panel 3

Your idea to set up Trey’s reaction sounds cool!

Re. page 4

Love the space of it!

Re. page 5 changes

You’re absolutely right.  It reads great!

Re. page 6 panel 1

Hmmm. You may be right about Trey’s psotioning. I suspect your first instinct was correct to have a bit of Edgar in the FG with the Spider Queen and Trey in the BG.  My apologies.

Re. Edgar’s outfit

I am happy to use the turnaround with his vest and flowing shirt.  Though Gibson drew the final turnaround, it’s based on an outfit  I designed so how could I not love it? LOL

Seriously great work Dawnsen. This is going to be an amazing story!  Cheers – Rob

I can attest that the layouts and changes looked even better in person last Wednesday.

– Pinc

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Categories: Art, Thumbnails
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