UNDERWATER – script by Yolanda Cheung (with minor notes)

By Yolanda Cheung

Page 1==============================================

—- Panel 1—-

Establishing shot. The scene starts underwater, in Great Barrier Reefs off the coast of Australia. There is a large hole
amongst the coral, approximately 1km wide in diameter. There is commotion in the scene involving Elizabeth and a
sinking Old Edgar, as underwater pirates look on.

Caption (Elizabeth)
The old man’s out of his mind.

—- Panel 2 —————————————————————————

In a smaller panel, Artie and Sherlock II are on a boat. They are visibly speaking frantically into a mic, but all the
screens have gone static. It is visually obvious that the communications have been cut.

Caption (Elizabeth)
Taking on a case of missing divers and coral, then saying you’ll personally look into it…

—- Panel 3 —————————————————————————–

Shot of Old Edgar, who is sinking while clutching his chest, while Elizabeth is swimming downward to catch him.

Caption (Elizabeth)
… what in god’s name are you thinking?

—- Panel 4 ————————————————————————-

Elizabeth catches up and grabs onto Old Edgar. He looks to be in pain. However, she is unable to keep both herself
and Edgar afloat due to the equipment. She looks back at the pirates.

Caption (Elizabeth)
When are you going to trust us?

We’re done fighting!! Open the door!!

—- Panel 5 ————————————————————————

The pirates look hesitantly look at each other as Elizabeth continues to struggle. She pulls out her gun and points at
the pirates.

Damn you!! We know the goddamn hole is fake!! Don’t make me explain myself! There’s a dyin’ man here, ya want
me to rationalize your lil’ game to save his goddamn life!?

Page 2=============================================

—- Panel 1 —-

The pirates swim down and grab onto Old Edgar with Elizabeth. Others are swimming towards the black hole within
the coral.

—- Panel 2 —————————————————————————-

As Elizabeth and Old Edgar are taken past the holographic projection, an organic-looking lab emerges from below, lit
by long pillars all around.

—- Panel 3 ———————————————————————-

Inside, the pirates and Elizabeth work together to hoist Old Edgar onto the deck.

—- Panel 4 ———————————————————————-

The pirates and Elizabeth begin hoisting themselves onto the deck, as some kind of mechanical sound is heard off-


—- Panel 5 ———————————————————————-

Upward shot of Edgar, backlit by the hallway. He has transformed his suit into a wheel chair, and is holding a
collapsible walking stick. Elizabeth has a shocked look on her face, as if she did not expect this to happen.

Page 3===========================================

—- Panel 1 ———————————————————————-

A giant fight ensues. Old Edgar is fighting without much effort, calmly hitting pressure points and causing the pirates
around him to fall over. The two discuss evidence as they fight.

Old Edgar
Tell me how the chasm is fake.

The animals were too docile when we approached, leading me to think there was a mild hallucinogen in the water.
This hallucinogen, combined with light-altering water crystals, caused a 0.1% water discolouration when compared to
the usual blue-green of the Coral Sea. Plus, the electromagnetic wave that disabled our communications caused the
holographic projection covering this lab to flicker every 1 minute and 22 seconds.

—- Panel 2 ———————————————————————-

Edgar is in the background, striking another pirate. Elizabeth is in the foreground throwing the last kick.

Old Edgar:
Did my little act cause your poor observation? You have missed the muscle development –

Y’know, people having heart attacks would never have had fogged-up oxygen masks like yours.

—- Panel 4 ———————————————————————-

Close up on Edgar, who looks at Elizabeth, slightly surprised but not wavering much in his expression. Elizabeth
smirks while standing confidently, amongst the pile of fallen pirates.

After I joined your theatrics, I got close enough to confirm five in the crew who had abnormally large calves. They
have been using diving equipment from Port Douglas, Australia – where the missing researchers are from.

—- Panel 5 ———————————————————————-

Old Edgar seems to be at a loss for words, but is looking pleased.

—- Panel 6 ———————————————————————-

The wide shot panel where a dark figure is standing behind Elizabeth.

Old Edgar
She figured you out, Reginald.

Page 4================================================

—- Panel 1 ———————————————————————-

Elizabeth whips around as a man approaches with open arms towards her and Old Edgar. He is smiling warmly,
almost benevolently. He has the air of a military man but also looks worn out by the years.

Never a day where I was not caught by the Holmes name.

Old Edgar
Next time if you are to truly to cover your tracks, then avoid using the chemical technology we developed together.

—- Panel 2 ———————————————————————-

Reginald laughs light lightheartedly as he invites Elizabeth and Old Edgar into the lab.

You are correct of course, young lady. I sincerely apologize that I underestimated your abilities. This is a lab I have
created to research the coral reefs and repopulate endangered aquatic species.

—- Panel 3 ———————————————————————-

Reginald turns on the lights. The interior of the lab is covered in gruesome test tubes and half dissected animals and
fishes. The sight is grotesque and surreal, causing even the calm Elizabeth and Old Edgar to become affected.

Not an easy task, I assure you. Environmental regulations are so thick with technicalities that I had to take matters
into my own hands.

—- Panel 4 ———————————————————————-

Elizabeth fingers her gun as Reginald continues to take them down the hallway. She is calm but noticeably agitated.
Old Edgar is stoic, as if this is nothing new to him. Reginald’s expression is still kind, warm and fatherly. They walk
past floating fetuses, dissected dolphins and turtles.
Old Edgar:
Your eccentricities appears to have faded little over the years.

Haha, of course. My eccentricities pay the debt I owe. Back in the war, Ed, we dirtied the waters with our
experiments, and we disregarded a world of life that is of no lower standing than our own. At that point, we had
forgotten to love the seas which showed us so much patience.

—- Panel 5 ———————————————————————-

Elizabeth has her gun drawn, almost ready to point it at Reginald. He holds up one hand to stop her, while pushing a
button to open the door with the other hand. The door is opening but it is not obvious what is inside.

Are you afraid, child? Forgive me, but this is not a situation that requires your naive sense of justice. If we could save
the planet by sacrificing 1000 lives, then is the choice not obvious? Is that not what war has taught us?

Page 5===============================================

—- Panel 1———————————————————————-

Establishing shot of the lab interior. Pirates and scientists are working away at machinery around them, but at the
centre is a large dome containing the missing coral. An abundance of life is swimming inside. The whole scene is
breathtakingly beautiful.

—- Panel 2 ———————————————————————-

A shot from inside the tank. Elizabeth, looking conflicted, is still holding her gun and has one hand on the glass. The
gorey hallway is visible over her shoulder.

Old Edgar (off panel): There is one point on which we disagree, Reginald.

—- Panel 3 ———————————————————————-

A angle where all three are visible in the panel. Reginald and Edgar are conversing while Elizabeth is still near the
tank, her expression surprised.

Old Edgar: There are no naive children in my team. Only elite investigators with good intuition.

—- Panel 4 ———————————————————————-

Elizabeth almost breaks into laughter.

—- Panel 5 ———————————————————————-

Elizabeth turns and starts heading out the door, trying to make sure Edgar doesn’t catch her laughing. She is still
angry about the dissection, but has decided to let it go.

Caption (Elizabeth): Stubborn old man, could never say that to our faces.

Elizabeth: I’ll report to the Marine Park Authorities that this is just a natural hazard. As a biologist, I’ll let you go, but as
a Holmes Inc Agent, I will be the one to monitor and judge you.

—- Panel 6 ———————————————————————-

A grateful Reginald, without words, goes into a gentlemanly bow as she and Old Edgar are headed out the door. The
central tank is visible as they move away. Elizabeth’s eyes sparkle mischievously.

Caption (Elizabeth): But I’ll let it go this time.

Elizabeth: Sorry for doing my own thing, gramps. Just followin’ my intuition, ah guess.

Old Edgar: Do as you wish. Holmes Inc will always find the truth, but it does not mean we must act on it.


Notes from Ty:  One more slaying of babies–I’d like the speech on Page 3 panel one to read closer (or exactly) like this.  It’s WAY too long in an action panel to work.  This is the same info, but half the space.

Animals were too docile when approached, suggesting a mild hallucinogen in the water, which, combined with light-altering crystals, created a 0.1% local discolouration. Plus, the electromagnetic wave that disabled our communications caused the hologram covering this lab to flicker every fifty-two seconds.


ALSO:  I’m not sure the scene of Elizabeth and Old Edgar getting aboard, and his wheelchair forming itself off panel works in silence.  Give me one line (or two) that makes it clearer that he’s formed the chair from his own suit, and that he’s angry and dangerous.  If you can sell it in the art, okay, but at the moment, I’d like you to try one line there.

Otherwise!  Magnificent.  the pace, the dialog, the deductive stuff is ALL great.

Ty the Guy

  1. Yolanda
    March 28, 2011 at 7:08 pm

    Thanks Ty! Will do 🙂

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